The Hard Lessons from 2025 That Can Change How You Enter 2026

How do you really get confidence? I have to take a piece of cardamom and a rai in the morning. I have to press it in the criss-cross, turn it three times from left to right, and keep it in my mouth. Definitely it's going to work. You are here because of a purpose. Your birth, your life. This is not an accident. You are a piece of a puzzle that, without which a very big picture is incomplete. Can you become rich without any... A mindset in India, that until you have no business, you can't actually become rich. In working for someone or something. We have seen in private equity companies, we have seen in research dividend companies, very good AMC fund managers, that there are so many great salaries, payoffs.

One thing is fairness and 24 hours of support. If I rent my time, I can never become rich. My thought is very different after this. What should a man look for in a woman? I feel that women are much more stronger than men are. A boy falls in love with a girl because the way she laughs, the way she sits, the way she gets into the car, the way she does this to the hair. And when the girl confirms that, yes, I also love you, these are the four things he stops her from. How do you take control of your mind? You just damn have to realize, that this is your mind, you control it.

When your mind wander off, you grab it and bring it. And then you stick to it. Whenever a snapper is prepared, it takes 40 kilometers of running. 40 kilometers of running. And the body weighs at least 25 to 30 kgs. And it's not like you go there and the next day you get rest. After one hour of rest, you do another exercise. You will leave it and go. You give me some techniques that we can use to expand our mind. There are so many, Divya ji. You can... And how important is sleep? Today, there is a hustle culture. Rakesh Junjunwala has said in a viral podcast video saying, My worst investment has been my health.

This concept of Ho Uponopono. And I've heard a lot of your, you know, talks on this. So I wanted to start with that. How do you live life on your own terms? Oh my God! I have to write a book on this. Yeah, but that's what I'm saying. You live it on your own terms. You make your own rules. You be self-centered. But you still live it with the sense of purpose. Oh, that's... She has some seriously beautiful questions, thought provoking questions. If I just simplify it for Gen Z, you are here because of a purpose. Your birth, your life. This is not an accident. You are a piece of a puzzle that, without which a very big picture is incomplete.

You are very important. Very, very important. You are not here to be the clone of someone else. Because that piece is already taken in the puzzle. You don't live as an extra piece. You fit where you belong. Get to know yourself. Once you get to know yourself, as you and I were discussing, make mistakes. Make different mistakes. Learn from them. Most important. Don't waste those also. And when life gives you an opportunity, you go after it guns blazing. Not because mama, papa, society, community told you to do that, but because your insides tell you this is your moment, you take it. By doing this, I'm making my book in a nutshell for you. You will come to a place where you will start to know your strengths and your weaknesses.

When you befriend your weaknesses and you develop your strengths, you live life on your own terms. Wow. That was hard. Because you see, in today's Gen Z, everything is about instant gratification. Life has become like this. But if you really want to achieve your greatest potential, you have to slow it down. And you have to know your biological clock is your biological clock. Your emotional clock is your emotional clock. Don't waste your time and energy on something that doesn't belong to you. You know, very important, but very difficult. And it is confidence. People need confidence to do anything. But our education system is such that it always tells us that you have not passed in so many subjects.

These are things that you have not been able to do. So you want to do something, you want to crack that interview, you want to get that job. And you know that I need confidence for this. But that confidence is not there. That is so true. That has not been developed, maybe through education, maybe through your life. How do you really get confidence when there is none? What is that first step, second step, third step? What do I do? I want to achieve in life. I want to do this. But how? Where do you draw that confidence? This question was asked by someone yesterday. There was an online meeting. I was engaged with some students in one of the universities.

So they asked me the same thing. What do I have to do for confidence? My first response was, I have to take a cardamom in the morning at the right time and take a rai. I have to press it in my chest, turn it three times from left to right and keep it in my mouth. Definitely it is going to work. So they all started laughing. They said, seriously, it won't work. I tell three things on the first day in the class, to the students who are always on my board. One is be simple. You are good as you are. Second thing is be original. Don't try to copy someone else. Be your own version.

And third thing is be confident. I added this after coming. Based on my observation about students. Today's generation has a lot of knowledge. But they don't have confidence. Absolutely not. Whether they are going for the placement interview or you are standing in front of the public to talk or to express themselves in some forum. Confidence actually is very low. And our education system is very responsible. First I will talk about the reason. Because we are too judgmental as a society. In whatever form. If they are students, we will grade them on numbers. You go to Japan. Yesterday I was reading an article. Their mother shifted from US to Japan. Why? Because in the fundamental years, she wants her child to study here.

In the initial foundation years, my child has no tension for studies. Till class 5th, 6th. He is not being graded. The idea is to teach and one should learn. But we are too young. Since then we don't know English. You have to do this. You got A+, B+. People are so obsessed with this. And we are trying to teach this. I will tell my student on the first day who has graduated, that you are very good as you are. I will never judge you in any condition. But I will only train you. My idea is to train you, not to judge you. The world is sitting to judge. From parents to society, relatives, everyone will judge.

I will not judge you. You are fully accepted. I will make you as you are. I will make you confident. Can you become rich without any mindset in India? Till you don't have your own business, you can't become rich. You are saying it is possible to be rich. Absolutely. I don't disagree totally with what Gajinder sir said. I think this notion was correct till 90s. You have to do your own business. But after that, the way economy has flourished, economy has got jobs, international capital has come to India, I can name you so many individuals who are making salaries which even business people can't think of. They can make profit in life. People are making 3 crore salaries, 5 crore salaries, 10 crore salaries.

There is a concept of entrepreneurship and there is a concept of intrapreneurship. So, an entrepreneur is someone who can't take the risk of capital. But he is very hardworking and he can act like an owner. So, you have inside organizations also. You will have people who will act as an owner. They just have a problem. They don't have the strength to take the risk of capital. So, I think in today's opportunities, people with jobs also can do very very very well. And we have seen in private equity companies, research driven companies, very good AMC fund managers have such great salaries, payoffs, PMS managers have such great salaries and payoffs that a businessman who thinks that he should take the risk of capital, take the loan of the bank and then start a business.

My thought is very different. Although I have never worked, but I still believe that you can create wealth by working. You can make it big. You can make it very big. First of all, people don't talk about entrepreneurship and business that it has such an impact on your physical and mental health. A job worker might be working 9 to 5, 9 to 9. But I think both of you will agree that an entrepreneur and businessman works 24 to 7. He was working in his head while sleeping. At least when I was very actively involved I was working 24 to 7. In the morning, when he wakes up, he has a doubt about his client or a query.

Something was going on. So, I realised that my physical and mental health has an impact. No doubt, I have created wealth and earned money, but its impact has come to my physical and mental health. The second thing I feel is that even those who work have a problem. If we all become entrepreneurs, who will work? You think about it. How will you get the person who is doing your miscellaneous work or your good work? Will you change his mindset and become an entrepreneur? How will you work if we have 140 crore entrepreneurs? That's a good point. My only contention here was that you can never get rich by renting your time. God has played a very unfair game.

He has made someone rich, someone poor, someone beautiful, someone new, someone born in India, someone from Australia, US, Bangladesh. There is an unfair everywhere. There is an unfair of caste. He has given the same fairness to everyone for 24 hours. So, if I rent my time, I can never become rich. I can earn money, but I can't become the super rich that is where you have to own equity. He said that we can't dream till 90s. In the last 10 years, Infosys has made many people millionaires. In India, there are many companies like Joho who have made many. So, unlocking the value and you getting ESOPs. If you get ESOPs, you can make good wealth.

In mutual funds, many people have got ESOPs. Fund managers have got ESOPs. So, you can make money. But in that game, accountability is different. Technically, you are a vice president but you are a business owner in that sense. So, in that case, you don't have 9 to 9 brain, you also have 24 wives. 24 wives won't work. I will give you an example. These are the 4 things he stops her from. Don't laugh like this. What do you do to people like this? Why do you sit like this? And it is easy to make them fool. Boys? Yes. Because stroke their ego. What do they want? What are they looking for? Wow, you are very nice.

Oh, that's so wonderful. Those abs, you seem to have lost weight. That's how he works for my husband. Yes, exactly. I think that the day of marriage, especially in today's times, our parents got married because our roles were defined. The role of the mother was to take care of the house and the children. The role of the father was to work. And rightfully so, today women should work. Of course, they should work. And they are independent. They should work. So, there is a less possibility of not having a clash. I always say, as a joke, that the day you get married, the day you decide that the conflict has started. Because now you feel, oh my God, with this person, now I am going to spend 40 years, 30 years, 45 years.

I need to be independent. You will have to say from the beginning that I like this, I like that. And love does not stay in a long marriage. Love goes at the end of it. Love has a different interpretation. I am married to Kiran for 40 years. As any other this has been the most amazing relationship. It has been amazing as far as the friendship is concerned. And also, don't ever disrespect the person in a relationship. Love does not stay. And I am not saying it cynically. The kind of love you feel initially, the kind of love you feel the initial stages, that's not possible. Because other things take over. Responsibilities take over. There is not that much love between brothers and sisters.

In husband and wife. We confuse love. But if you are kind to each other, if you are once in a while sort of make a habit of sort of noticing the person, we stop noticing the other person. Kiran and I will always have a great mutual respect for each other. And also never in a fight, I feel never hit below the belt. What happens when you are in love, you tell your inner secrets, inner fears to the other person. That I feel like this, I feel scared of darkness, or when you shout at me at night, in love. And if you have a fight and the person says that thing, that you are like this, then I think the relationship is in break.

How do you take control of your mind? Because there are some hacks, meditate, listen to music, listen to music, your learning, in so many years in army, what have you learned? There is no hack. There is no Guru Mantra. Actually so many times people have approached that sir I want to become disciplined, I want to become this, I want to become that, I want to do this, what Guru Mantra should I give you? It's not like you say this, if you read Gayatri Mantra 10 times, you will get it. It's not going to happen like that. You just damn have to realize that this is your mind, you control it. When your mind wander off, you bring it back.

Sir, if I have to give exams to do this, and there are so many hours left, in which I can will I make a master plan? That every day I have to read, every day I have to do research, every day I have to maybe sleep. And then you stick to it. Finally it is hard work and discipline, and your time management is going to give you success anywhere. But to do this, your mind control is one of the most important things because on mobile WhatsApp came, or I remembered that I had to message Divya ji, I had to send her a photograph after podcast, I saw that, I saw someone else's message, I saw it on that, then from there the link went to Instagram.

When I started seeing it on Instagram, I saw 4 things and then I forgot that I saw mobile because of what. Why were you seeing it? What were you doing? Why has this happened? This has happened because you are weak in the mind. If you control your mind that brother, the time for mobile will come, this is after 8pm. Till then I am not going to waste time here. I have to remember that it is okay, after 8pm I have written that brother, these days you have noted in voice command that I have to send photographs but I will do it after 8pm. I will not do it now. The secret is that whatever you have to achieve in the world, you can do it but you have to not do it.

Nobody else will do it. Nobody else is going to come and make you successful. At the end of the day, you have to do it yourself. It is as simple as that. You can make it as complicated as you want or not complicated but ultimately this thing is in your hands. If you have to be successful, nobody is going to come and tell you that brother, I am successful and I like you a lot. So from today I will stay with you. It is not going to happen. No way. You have to walk that path. You have to make yourself capable of handling that success. Basically, in 3 days, I will give an example of boxing.

I have done a lot of boxing. In 3 minutes, it feels like 3 years. There is a bout shopping for 3 minutes and the whole body is in a fight of light response. After 3 minutes, you cannot stand up because there is so much energy and adrenaline in the body. Keeping your body like this In this, is it physical strength or mental strength? Will you go to the toilet or not? How do you manage this? How do you do it? Ma'am, actually what happens is that the person who will take position in 3 days will definitely be a snapper. But to become a snapper, a person has to be mentally and physically strong. Whenever a snapper is prepared, it is 40 km running.

40 km running. And the body will have a weight of 25-30 kg. You have to run for 40 km or you have to run for 40 km. And your body has a weight of 30 kg. And it is not like you go there and rest the next day. After 1 hour of rest, you do another exercise. So, first you become so strong. Actually, what is training? Training is to show your strength. If I say that there is any training in the world, suppose that if I have run for 40 km with 30 kg weight, then my instructor or my organization has run for me because they have told me that lucky beast had the strength to run 40 km.

They have told me this strength. If you ask a normal civil man, how will you run for 20 km? Because he has not run. The day he runs for 20 km, he will run. We can do the same thing that we have done in training. If you ask me now, if a man has to do an operation, I will not be able to do it. Because I have never done it. I will not be able to touch the biggest man in the world. Because I don't have that strength. So, if you want to become anything in life, if you want to become a commando, a sniper, a bomb expert, then definitely training will be there.

And mentally, very strong. How mentally? You will be troubled so much when you go for training. You will leave everything behind. You will get so irritated. You will be told that you will be given only 2 hours to sleep in 24 hours. You will get irritated. But if the instructor sees that you have the strength to stop, you have endured for 10-12 days, then he will endure. So, the best thing would be to start by calming your mind. Because these days, people have a lot of problems with overthinking, a lot of stress, a lot of anxiety, a lot of deadlines. They are multitasking with almost every aspect in their lives. So, the best thing would be to quieten the mind down first.

It's like a glass, a glass of water. Let's say the glass is the body, the water is the mind, and the thoughts that occur are like the sediments of dust in the glass. So, if you keep shaking it, if you keep shaking the glass or the bottle, the sediments will fly around, float around, and the water will not be clear. The moment you put the bottle down on a table, the sediments slowly start to settle. Then it becomes clear. The sediments settle at the bottom. The water becomes clear. So, that's how the body and the mind also function. So, the mind cannot do it alone. It has to depend on the body. The body is kind of like the vessel.

That is why I am a big proponent of exercise, diet, keeping yourself healthy. I work out almost every day. I do gymming, I do yoga, I do high intensity interval training, and I watch what I eat. So, you take care of your body. But when it comes to the mind, I would suggest first you do calming meditation. I would like to talk about sleep. How important is sleep? Today, there is a hustle culture where working is very important. Morning, evening, night. Founders say, we are surviving on 4 hours of sleep. Sleep is the new diet. There was a research. So, I took 15-20 people. I don't remember it clearly. But the people who come to my clinic, I tell them the story.

There were 15-20 people. They said, first, take 5.5 hours of sleep. Same to same diet. Same to same exercise. Start for fat loss. So, they started the exercise. And everything. About 5.79 calories were burned. After 2-3 weeks, they said, sleep for 8.5 hours. So, they said, there is a science study, you do it. Okay, they agreed. For 2 weeks, they started doing it. They burned 1039 calories. What they found is, the fat burning is 2x more when you get 3 hours of more sleep. So, the people who the founder is telling me that I am taking 4 hours of sleep, they are depositing fat. But they make FD also. Because they make business. Rakesh Junjunwala has said in a viral podcast video saying, my worst investment has been my health.

I will ask people in India, would you rather have 5000 crores in the bank? And then ask your wife and son, would they prefer the husband or the father to be alive or have that 5000 crores? Any child or any spouse will choose their loved ones over the money. I am not saying don't make money. But I am saying when you pitch this thing that less sleep makes you successful, yes. But that could be a short period of your life. You are an entrepreneur, I am an entrepreneur. I slept 6 hours last night because I had to do a session. Tonight I am going to probably sleep 6 hours. But when I get back on Sunday, I am going to go and get my 8 hours of sleep.

But on an average, in 365 days a year, Divya Ji, I sleep 7 to 8 hours because my exercise variable is tracking me and telling me my resting heart rate. So, sleep, if you don't want to diet, okay, bye. Don't follow Ryan Fernando's diet. Okay. Eat rice, eat chapati, eat thele, but please sleep long because the longer you sleep, you release stem cells. A sleep is SWS sleep. You must have seen that on your watch or on your Apple phone. SWS, sign wave sleep, releases stem cells. Who are these stem cells? Stem cells are your contractor's cells. They are breaking inside the body. So, these are the contractor cells. So, the doctor comes and says, Mr.

Salam, remove all the dirt in Divya's liver. Yes, okay. Divya did running. Yes, okay. Her knees are a little broken. She needs to be repaired. When you take 4 hours sleep, you will get only 35-40 minutes SWS sleep. So, those who are going above 7, they are getting double times contractor cells. Sleep is the new diet. And there is a mindset, a lot of people say that you are studying or studying for exams, or UPSC, leave everything for 4 years. Only concentrate on that. How practical do you think that is? That I have made that my priority, I am doing that and I am not doing anything else. Is that good? Is that more harmful?

That's not practical even. I always say to my kids, please don't become a zombie. We don't need depressed, sad faces in government. We want happy people. Happy people, excited, you know. So, there has to be this zeal of changing something, creating an impact. So, I will say that yes, the priority has to be studies, but when we say learning and knowledge and studies, it is not just about only the content. Had it been so, then interview part. So, UPSC has conducted the exam in 3 phases. So, first is prelims. Prelims is objective. Objectivity. So, they are checking how vast you can learn. Even if you don't know the direct answers, can you still sense through your intuitive ability what could be the answer by eliminating the you know, which cannot be the answers.

So, this is the kind of objectivity which UPSC test is, first step. Second is objectivity. How good you can write, how well you can express, well you can articulate. Can you concise the whole lot of an issue into 2 pages? Including the most important facts, figures, case laws, articles, examples, models. Can you do that? And third is the interview stage. Whatever you have learnt, can you express it? Can you analyse the things? So, it's like this interview, the whole preparation itself demands a holistic personality. So, people who think that they can clear UPSC just by sitting in a room, closing everything, it's very difficult. You have to go out, you have to meet people. But again, the kind of people you are meeting first, that makes a lot of difference.

And how long? So, if you go out for a tea, have conversations with friends for 1 or 2 hours, fine. But then you come back and you learn. Doctor said, I want to talk about one thing which I guess is probably one of the biggest issues facing our generation, in my humble opinion. And I think that is this idea of focus. We live in an attention economy where everyone is behind our attention. From our phones to Netflix, every technology is being created to ask for more attention. And if we have to do any task, maybe, I mean, the most important thing is to give focus or give our attention. And I find that severely broken.

So, what is happening with our brain which is impairing our focus? Focus is like a computer screen and every 8-9 seconds it refreshes. That is our attention. Basically, every 8-9 seconds our mind refreshes to check is there any danger around us. That is the way the brain is wired. This is from the tribal survival instinct this hunting ki bhi are we okay, are we not okay. And jeetna jada hamara sense of threat hua, utna jaldi refresh hota hai. Agar samjo I am in a battle zone I will be refreshing every second or every 0.5 seconds ki yaah se kuch aar aay kya, yaah se kuch aar aay kya. Whereas agar main ghar mein hu mere family hai, hum sab kush hai, haas rahe hai, I might refresh every 30 seconds just to check ki kuch problem hai kya but nahi.

Flow state is when I am not refreshing only. I am just in that zone. Mujhe kuch padhi nahi hai duniya ki. I know I am safe mujhe ye hi karna hai, mujhe aur kuch karna hi nahi hai. Flow state is a place where you are safe. Where you are safe but you are also dialed in. You are focused on one thing and you are not constantly checking if is there something else I should be doing. This concept of ho uponopono and I have heard a lot of your talks on this. So I wanted to start with that. You know they say that this is a prayer and it also says this philosophy also says ki jo bhi aap experience karte ho at some point wo apni reflection hai.

So you know very briefly I would love to hear in your words ki ye concept kya hai. Ho oponopono ek hawaien word hai jiska arth hai aap kuch correct karo, kuch change karo, kuch transform karo. Message simple hai ki jo bhi life me ho raha hai humare purva karmo se hi ho raha hai, aapke past se hi ho raha hai. Isi liye jab hum bitter ho jata hai jab acha nahi lagta, kuch galat ho jata hai. To ek natural tendency hai ki hum ye sochhein ki ye kyu hua, usne aesa kyu kiya isme meri kya galati hai. Yaar kabhi-kabhi guilt trip me chali jaana, hum aesa lagta hai, mujh mein kya kami hai, usne mere saath aesa kyu kiya.

To dono nazar ye apni ko blame karna aur dosron ko blame karna, ye galat hai. Aap responsibility ki baat aaj aaj aati hai, to responsibility matlab ki mai ye samjhoon ki agar mere andar koi tendency ya pattern nahi jata, to nahi ho pata. Ek kahawat hai, umak shama shrapuhi te bhaari, apne karma jai apkari. Iska matlab ki jab aap sehna seekhte hai aur apne andar jaankhne ki koshish karte hai ki main kya karoon, is situation se deal karne ke liye, apne aap ko improve karne ke liye. Isme dekhiya, aapraat bodh ya guilt nahi aata. Is simple cheez hai ki aap apne aap ki energy ko improve karne ke liye, kya karengi. Jab focus ispe jata hai ki ma situation ko kaise handle karu, apne aap ki patterns ko kaise change karu, to fir aap 100% responsibility le rahe hain.

To hope unupano ka concept ye hi hai ki aap blame game mein mat jayee, aap apne andar ki energy ko improve ki jaye, pe kyun aapki jeewan mein jo ho raha hai, aapki energy se ho raha hai.