Capt. Dharamveer Singh

Capt. Dharamveer walked in to tell a story about the part of military service we do not talk about: the families waiting without knowing if their loved one is alive.

Dharamveer Singh was 22 years old when he was deployed with 23 Punjab in the Jaisalmer Sector during the 1971 Indo-Pakistan war. He was the first to report Pakistani incursions to his company commander, Major Kulip Singh Chandpuri, becoming a critical figure in what would become the iconic Battle of Laungewala. The battle was so significant it was immortalised in the 1997 Bollywood film Border, where his role was played by Akshay Khanna. But being immortalised in cinema is very different from living through it. He was 22. He was making life-and-death decisions that affected thousands. He was young enough that his family could lose him. And there was no way for them to know if he was alive.

Why I brought him on: You might know soldiers. You might be considering service yourself. Or you might just be someone who says thanks to a soldier without really understanding what that thanks should mean. Capt. Singh's story shows you the actual cost. He lived through one of India's most storied military moments, and what he wants to tell you about is what his family endured.

What blew my mind: The communication blackout. Days. Weeks. His family did not know if he was alive, injured, dead. Not knowing. That psychological toll on families is invisible in most military narratives, but it is real and it is devastating. He did not dramatise it; he just told the truth about what that uncertainty does to people you love. His courage on the battlefield was real. But his family's courage waiting without information? That is equally real.

Why you need this: Because military sacrifice is not abstract. It is families enduring trauma. It is soldiers bonding in ways civilians do not understand because their lives depend on each other. And it is a cost that does not end when someone comes home. When you thank a soldier, you should be thanking their family too for what they endured while they waited. They carried fear so their soldier could carry a rifle.

Listen to someone who knows the actual weight. — Love, Divya